Selling Without Attachment
ByIn one of my Natural Selling workshops, I was demonstrating through a role-play, how to talk with another person, by basing most of my questions on the answers I got to my previous questions.
The role-playing was purposefully set up as a difficult conversation. It was based on discovering what this person wanted in life that she didn’t already have. It appeared there was a lot!
It came to a point where I asked a final Qualifying Question; (though as far as I’m concerned, they’re all Qualifying Questions);
“Let me ask you… from 1 – 10, with 10 being most important, how important is it for you, RIGHT NOW, to make the necessary changes to get you, from where you are, to where you said you want to be?”
The answer was, “3!” (Were you expecting something much higher?)
So I replied,
“Well the reason I asked is that I help people like yourself get the things they want, so if your decision should ever change, allow me to give you my phone number and I will be happy to help you in any way I can.”
End of conversation!
Was there a feeling of disappointment on my part because she only gave me a 3? No! Why? Because, throughout the conversation I didn’t have any attachment to any outcome. When there is attachment to an outcome it usually comes from a place of being ‘ego centered’ which can trap you every time on its emotional roller coaster travel through life.
Instead, my focus was on my INTENTION to see if I could be of help, IF she wanted to be helped, AND was prepared to help herself at the same time.
If she’s not interested in change and/or didn’t want to help herself, then could I help her? Of course couldn’t! And was I being rejected by getting the kind of response I did? Absolutely not… because it’s not about me! I’m not in the picture. All she was doing was rejecting the idea of change.
This is why Natural Selling is known as principle centered selling. Coming from the point I just outlined, it doesn’t matter whether someone says yes or no.
If you want to find out more about this I might recommend my best selling CD “The Magic Question That Turns ‘No’ Into ‘Yes‘”. It will help you grasp the principle and approach to having effective dialogues like this. It will give you the feeling of confidence of being able to talk with anyone.
Later, the person I was talking with responded to a question from one of the group by saying, ‘I felt no pressure, and as I think about it, I would probably have called back!’ Why, she was asked, “Because of our conversation and the little time I had to think about it, I figured why not. It sounded intriguing!”
People might not express they want to change right away, because they might have to take time to wade through the present debris of their current reality.
But they WILL remember the conversation. And they WILL remember it was you they had it with. And many get back to you because you’re the first person who offered them some hope without thrusting a solution down their throat.
As I’ve said before, “Let go of the outcome and you’ll increase your income!”
About the Author
Michael Oliver is an internationally recognized trainer, speaker and author and the founder of Natural Selling, the only sales training program designed to really eliminate rejection and objections. Visit his blog and signup free to get blog updates by email, along with the latest news, free advice, additional resources, and a lot more! Go now to http://naturalsellingblog.com. While you're at it, check out http://www.naturalselling.com.Subscribe by email and get blog updates, news, and more!
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Excellent article Michael! I will be forwarding same to my TEAM tonight.
I received an email from a young lady just today who I have had a few such conversations with. Though she did not say it, I sensed she had been thinking about our conversations for quite some time and NOW is ready for some things to change.
Thanks for naturalselling.com and all of your excellent training – website materials, newsletters, books and CD’s – I use them all!
In retrospect, that is when most of my team building exploded .. AFTER I learned the art of natural selling!
Paula McInaney – Nashville, TN
Thank you Oliver. I now see how clearly our conversation, choice of words can make selling interesting. I intend to put into practice what i have learned today. Thank you for this very interesting article.
Thanks Michael for that post. The natural selling strategies are forever useful and an asset for ppl that implement it into their Biz.
Keep up the good work.
Michael, this is a confirmation of what I have been reading in Michael Neill’s book “You can have what you want.” Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us. I always enjoy your newsletter.
One of the laws of life is “One must give to receive” and it works. Mike, your concepts exhibit this law. It is the principle behind planting seeds. Many will sprout and return a hundred fold. Some may even lay dormant for a long time and then spring to life. Thank you for you insights.
Thank you for this excellent information. These recommendations will defnitely assist in my conversations with cold leads that I am purchasing and calling.
Also, thank you for sharing your much needed information on naturalselling.com.
Joni
These days because I m apply these skills,
at times I expect the same from other sales people
Regularly, some one comes to my office for donation
for supporting children, elders, etc. and when I tell
them I m already supporting a cause, they try to sell
the idea to me. When I share with them that they must
take the free course from this site, they reply, “But
we are not sales people…”
I ask myself, “then what were you doing 2 seconds ago,
trying to take money out of my pocket…”
Anyways,
I relish this article of selling without attachment which
actually makes selling fun and exciting job.
Rather for part timers especially it should not be a
pressure to get him in now which makes the business
tougher….
Jaspreet
Interesting comment Jaspreet… thank you
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it
If you are open to having a guest blog poster please reply and let me know. I will provide you with unique content for your blog, thanks.