Here’s an interesting question from a reader:

I find there are people on my warm list that I “feel” would not be interested in the business, but they may know someone who is. In essence, I want to contact them for referrals.

Maybe this is not the correct way to approach someone, but I can’t get past this issue and would like to know how my conversation should go with them. Maybe what I really can’t get past is my “fear” in calling them and letting them know what I am doing. What do you think?

My answer:

It’s clear from what you’ve written that a major issue for you is that you’re focusing on what YOU want and not on what someone else might want. “When I focus on me, I increase my anxiety. When I focus on others I decrease my anxiety”.

The words we say and write are an extension of our thoughts. Everything starts with a thought. So the words we use resonate the energy of our thoughts. People pick up on this and will generally tend to be defensive

Your words give you away!

For example;

• You say, “…I want to contact them for referrals.” (This is about you)
• How about instead, ‘I want to contact them to see if they know of anyone who might need my help.’ (This is about others)
• You say, “… letting them know what I’m doing.”
• How about instead, ‘Talking with them to discover if what I’m doing could be of help to them.’

Can you feel the difference in energy between the two thoughts and the words used to convey them?

Also, you say you feel “people (on your warm list) would not be interested”. How do you know if you don’t engage them in a Natural Selling dialogue, and find out? Instead you’re letting the story you’ve created in your mind convince you of something that isn’t true. How do we know it’s not true… because you’ve made it up!

Natural Selling is about discovering through questioning, listening and appropriately responding whether there is a problem another person has that you can possibly help them solve. As a rule of thumb it’s not about telling people what you are doing or telling your story. It’s about listening to their story first to discover whether what you’re doing or what you have might help them in some way!

Start thinking and acting this way and your fear of calling them will rapidly disappear.

Having said that, I think it’s a great idea (thanks for alerting me to it!) to ask someone directly if they know anyone who might ‘be looking for help’ to get their lives back on track. If you can describe the problems you can help people solve, who knows, the person you’re asking a referral from will probably ask you how you can help THEM!

Use a version of your Personal Introduction Speech to start this conversation (it’s on page 159 in my book, How To Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety Or Losing Your Friends!).

Remember, it’s not what you do that’s important… but HOW what you do, that helps other people.

About the Author

Michael Oliver is an internationally recognized trainer, speaker and author and the founder of Natural Selling, the only sales training program designed to really eliminate rejection and objections. Visit his blog and signup free to get blog updates by email, along with the latest news, free advice, additional resources, and a lot more! Go now to http://naturalsellingblog.com. While you're at it, check out http://www.naturalselling.com.

You may reprint this article in your own publication or website, provided that you leave the content, the links, and the "about the author" section at the end intact.

Subscribe by email and get blog updates, news, and more!
Click the subscribe button and enter your email